30+ Funny Horse Names That Will Have You In Stitches

These are real racehorse horse names, presumably made up by the owners to give the commentators a hard time. Can you imagine the commentator calling these out!

Names like Hoof Hearted or Wear The Fox Hat often take a minute or two for the funny meaning to sink in. On the other hand, others, like Whykickamoocow and AARRRRRRR (yes, seriously) are downright weird, but funny nevertheless.

While everyone’s sense of humour is different, we can all appreciate a good chuckle from time to time and I’ve put together a list of over 30 funny horse names to make your day!

Funny Horse Names

1. DoReMiFaSoLaTiDo

While Julie Andrews won’t be singing this Sound Of Music melody over the loudspeaker, it is a name the commentator can take a strike at going up in octaves – and I’m sure they’ll get a bit tongue-twisted in the process too! I guess one of this horse’s favourite things is to win horse races!

2. Harry Trotter

I love a good play on words and Harry Trotter has to be one of my favourites! While this horse won’t be fighting off three-headed dogs or quarrelling with Lord Voldemort, he has won many horse racing (Triwizard) cups in his day!

I’d love to know if the “D” is his trainer’s name (D. Marnane) stands for Dumbledore though…

3. Hoof Hearted

This South African-based horse name is one for the books! If you say the name really fast, you’ll understand why it is so funny.

4. Wear The Fox Hat

Read this name out aloud in a Scottish or Irish accent and you’ll be rolling on the floor! I do hope the horse eventually found where the racing track was though…

Another funny variation of the name is Hows The Fox Hat.

5. Whykickamoocow

I’m assuming this horse’s owner had far too much moonshine when choosing its name. All I can think about is how hilarious this would sound when the horse is called home. Picture a deep Southern accent and you’ll get the picture!

6. Maythehorsebewithu

This padawan horse learnt everything about horse racing from its New Zealand sire back in the day. Born in 1996, Maythehorsebewithu became a master Jedi Knight, clocking in 6 wins over its horse racing career.

7. Ha Ha Ha

This name makes a lot of sense when you realise that out of six races, it finished last twice and was pulled up on two other occasions.

Also, the crowds must surely think the commentator is laughing at a joke when they hear this name called over the microphone – I wonder who had the last laugh?

8. Buck-Em-Ing Palace

What a marvellous tribute to the royal family, especially since the late Queen was an avid horse rider herself. There couldn’t be a more fairest horse in all the land.

9. Dappleganger

You know what they say about people and their pets, right? You can almost gauge what the animal will look like based on the human’s appearance and personality. I bet this horse’s owner has long legs, strong flanks and really big teeth.

10. Big Girl You Are Beautiful

A French-trained filly…

(Don’t know what a filly is? Check out this article!)

11. AARRRRRRR

I’d love to have Captain Jack Sparrow read out this horse’s name. This swish-buckling equine probably enjoys a good rum and long walks on the beach – and yes, this name is totally legit!

12. All Daddy’s Money

I bet this horse’s owner is some heiress without the foggiest clue on how horse racing works. Or possibly a name given by some billionaire’s disgruntled former wife.

13. Mane Attraction

The Americans sure know a thing or two about comedy. This is one of those funny names that work. It’s so obvious – plain and simple.

14. And I’m Worth It

I’m certain this horse only usesL’Oréal hair products with its luscious locks blowing in the wind – and I bet the money spent on its training is worth it too!

15. Usain Colt

Any (Jamarian) horse built for speed should have a funny name like this! It pays homage to Usain Bolt’s home country and lightning-fast speed.

16. Lightning McSteed

If you love Pixar Animation Studios’ Cars then you’ll understand and appreciate the meaning behind this funny name. Winning titles worldwide is great but having a place to retire – and call home – is what life is all about.

17. Candy Crush

Clearly, these horse owners spend far too much time playing games on their mobile phones. But matching coloured blocks ain’t going to make your horse win…

18. Fifty Bales Of Hay

Ah, the 2015 film that took the world by storm – riding crops and all! I wonder if this horse’s trainer is as, um “resourceful”, as Christian Grey? Still, it’s a great play-on-word name!

19. Two In The Pink

Please do not Google the meaning of these words – it has NOTHING to do with horses or racing! However, once you do know the meaning of the name, it’s hard not to laugh when commentators call it out – or so this Ralph Smith-trained horse thought.

20. Maple Stirrup

Who doesn’t love a bit of maple syrup on their pancakes? I sure do! What would make this horse name even funnier is if you have two horses, one named Maple and the other Stirrup.

21. Miss Daisy

We can only hope that the bond between this horse and its owner is as deep as the 1989 film depicts. Mutual respect, resilience – and no backseat driving!

22. Meryl Steed

More funny horse names coming your way! Meryl Streep certainly was a fashion diva in the 2006 The Devil Wears Prada movie, without giving a hoot what others thought of her. I’d imagine Meryl Steed is equally as flamboyant, fierce and fashionably fit.

23. Bitty White

Betty White – rest her soul – was the epitome of American comedy and humour. This humorous name is a fantastic play on words and certainly had me rolling on the floor!

24. David Buck-Em

Now many horse names are inspired by famous people, such as former English football captain David Beckham. And I’d imagine this horse gracefully “bends” around corners on the horse track. I’d also expect its foals to be called Bucklyn, Rodeo, Cruz The Colt, and Hay-per!

25. Gerard Buckler

Another celebrity-inspired horse name is Gerard Buckler. Famous for films like PS I Love You, London Has Fallen and 300, this Scottish actor lends his name to a couple of noble steeds and it sure is the perfect name!

Other comical horse names

• Mary Hinge
• Horsey McHorseface
• Odor In The Court
• Amanda Mount Anita
• Deposit Limit
• Confidential Support
• Al Capony

The History Of Horse Names

Naming horses is a fascinating topic intertwined with human history, culture and even superstitions. Horse names have evolved over the years to reflect various factors such as behaviour, breed, purpose or bloodlines.

Here’s a quick overview:

• Ancient times: Centuries ago, horses were often given mythological names. According to legend, the Greek hero Achilles’ (immoral) horses were named Xanthus and Balius, being the offspring of the god of the west wind, Zephyrus.Other ancient cultures purely gave their horses functional names based on coat colour or personality traits. For example, “Swift” for its speed or “Chestnut” for its colour.
• Middle Ages: During medieval times, especially in Europe, horses were given noble names to reflect their regality, strength and bravery during battles. Knights often choose these names to reflect their virtues, such as Adeline or Beleza – meaning noble and beauty respectively.The British royal family has a long history of racehorses, such as Aureole, who was bred by King George VI, Choir Boy who won Queen Elizabeth’s first race at the Royal Hunt Cup, and Estimate who won the Ascot Gold Cup.
• 20th Century onwards: In horseracing, names cannot be more than 18 characters and should be unique within a racing setting. This often results in creative and whimsical names, like Contagious Spirit or A New Era Has Dawned.Nowadays, when choosing a name for our own horse, we often reference pop culture or have personal connotations attached to it, such as Bob Marley Blues, Victoria’s Secret or My Favourite Hero. Either way, this has led to many unique – and often laughable – horse names!

If you’ve enjoyed this article, read our Horse Personality Type article next, especially if you’re trying to figure out what to name your horse based on their personality trait!

FAQs

What funny name can I give my horse?

Deciding on a good name for your horse can be tricky as everyone’s preferences are different. A couple of clean-humour names you can consider are Lucky Legs, Bitney Spears, Liam Neighson, Who’s Your Filly or Passing Wind.

Does a horse know its name?

Yes, horses are intelligent creatures and can learn to respond to their names, much like a dog or cat would.

Final Thoughts

Now that we’ve quit horsing around and ended this funny article, I hope you’ve had a good old chuckle at a few of these horse names. I must say, some riders and horse owners certainly have a knack for hitting the funny button.

Whether you’re using play-on-words like Buck-Em-Ing Palace or cheekier doppelganger names, we can all agree that these are great names that have had us in stitches.