Saddle Up For Laughter: Hilarious Horse Jokes
There’s no need to sit around with a long face when there are so many horse jokes out there that are guaranteed to make you giggle. You don’t need to be a horse enthusiast to get these horse jokes either!
Don’t waste your time wondering if horses sleep standing up or why they wear blinders, we’re going to ask the more important questions… Such as, why did the horse walk into the bar? Or even better, why did the horse cross the road?
Whether you’re into competitive horse racing or just like to crack a joke at the stables, saying a few of these one-liners will make you super popular among your riding group.
A Horse Walks Into A Bar…
Ah yes, a classic. You know a joke will be a good one when it starts with this well-known opening line: “A horse walks into a bar” with the classic answer being the barman asks – “why the long face?”
Just horsing around
- A horse walks into a bar and says, Hi, do you have any jobs? The Barman says – “Not for a talking horse, try the circus” to which the horse replies “why would they need a barman?”
- A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender says, “We don’t have any special drinks for horses here.” The horse replies, “That’s fine, I’ll just have a mane-hattan.
- A dad horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender says, “Hey, buddy, you’re a horse! What do you think you’re doing?”. The horse shrugs and says, “Just trying to get some good old-fashioned mane time.”
- A horse walks into a bar. “Hey,” says the barman. “Yes please,” says the horse.
Just a Little Horse…
- Why did the little horse gargle? Because it was a little hoarse!
- What did the little horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up!
- What kind of medicine do you give a sick horse? Cough stirrup.
- A pony goes to the doctor with a terribly sore throat. However, the doctor told him that he’d be okay, he’s just a little hoarse.
- Where do sick horses go? The Horse-pital.
Hay-larious Horse Jokes
You can’t help but love hay jokes as much as a horse loves hay.
Ice breakers for the stable
- What did the farmer say to his horse after a long day of baling? Hay there!
- What do you call a messy stable full of hay? A hay-wire situation.
- What do you call a horse that only eats hay? A hay-bivore.
- What’s a horse’s favourite wine? Chardon-hay.
- What is a horse scared of getting wet? Because it’ll catch hay fever!
- What did the horse say to the stubborn mule? “Stop being such a pain in the grass!”
- Why was the horse unpopular with the herd? It was known to be a grass, always spilling the oats to the farmer.
- What did the horse whisper to its buddy when the police arrived? “Watch out, there’s a grass among us!”
More merriment
- How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and still ride out on Friday? His horse’s name was Friday!
- Why did the horse cross the street? It wanted to see it’s neigh-bours.
- Why did the horse sleep so well last night? Because he had a stable bedtime, free from any night-mares!
- What does it mean when you find a horseshoe on the floor? Some poor horse is walking around in just his socks!
- Why was the horse a bad dancer? Because he had two left feet!
- What type of horses come out after the sun goes down? Night-mares!
- What’s the fastest way to mail a small horse? Use the Ponyexpress.
Bonus Horse Jokes
- Have you ever heard a horse talk? Probably not, most horses have neigh-thing to say.
- When does a horse talk? Whinn-ey wants to!
- What kind of bread does a horse eat? Thorough-bread!
- How can you tell a police horse from a normal horse? The police horse goes, “Neigh-naw-neigh-naw-neigh-naw.”
- What did the mother horse say to her foal? “It’s way pasture your bedtime”.
- Where does the horse live? Mane Street.
- Maybe she’s barn with it… Maybe it’s neigh-belline.
Knock Knock Horse Jokes
Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
- The horse from next door
- The horse from next door who?
- The horse from next door who is your neigh-bour!
Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
- The horse
- The horse who?
- The horse who bolted when you left the stable door open!
Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
- The gelding
- The gelding who?
- The gelding who wants his knockers back!
Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
- The stallion
- The stallion who?
- The stallion who’s at your service!
Can horses laugh?
Horses don’t laugh in the way humans do, but they do exhibit behaviors that might be interpreted as “happy” or “amused.”
Horses communicate their emotions through body language and vocalizations. Here are a few ways horses might show signs of pleasure or amusement:
- Playful Behavior: Horses often engage in playful behavior with other horses or humans, which can include running, frolicking, and interacting in ways that suggest enjoyment.
- Whinnying or Neighing: Horses might make vocalizations such as whinnying or neighing when they’re excited or content, which could be seen as their version of expressing happiness.
- Relaxed Body Language: A horse that is relaxed and content will have a soft, relaxed posture, including drooping ears, a relaxed tail, and a calm expression.
While horses don’t laugh, they certainly can express a range of emotions and enjoy their interactions in their own unique ways.
Final Thoughts: Trot Off with a Smile
Whether you’re a seasoned equestrian or simply enjoy a good pun, these horse jokes have something to offer everyone. From witty one-liners to classic “A horse walks into a bar” scenarios, these jokes will have you giddying up in laughter. So, saddle up for some mane-tastic fun and share these horse jokes with your friends and family. They’re sure to get a kick out of them!
